Artery Clogging Sausage Stuffing!

Did you enjoy your holidays? Did you get all the stuff you wanted? Well I come bearing the one thing you almost definitely didn’t get: the recipe for the best stuffing in the world. The kind that will help you to die happy by almost certainly speeding along your demise. Yum!

Now, I hate to give the wrong impression of what this blog is about. It is not a recipe blog. It is a random bullshit blog. That means recipes are fair game, though they will not be the norm. Also, I’m actually making this post so that I can dispose of the scrap of paper I currently have the recipe scribbled on.

Without further ado, I give you the most fabulous stuffing in the history of ever:

Ingredients
3 pounds of sausage meat (sweet Italian), removed from casings
1 bag of herb stuffing (Pepperidge Farm). If there’s no fennel seed in yours, add some to taste.
3 large yellow onions
16 oz jar of apple sauce
40 oz mushrooms
2 tbs of Bell’s Poultry Seasonig
College Inn broth to moisten
2 eggs
Butter for sautéing

1. Brown the sausage meat in a pan, but without cooking it entirely. Allow it to cool and break it into tiny pieces. Set aside. Do not clean sausage grease out of the pan.
2. Slice onions almost to the point of dicing them, but not quite. (Hey, I am just transcribing what my Nana said…) Saute in butter and the remaining sausage grease. Set aside.
3. Saute the mushrooms. Set aside.
4. In a large bowl, use your hands to mix together the stuffing, apple sauce, poultry seasoning, and eggs. Add chicken broth to moisten as necessary.
5. When the sausage, onions, and mushrooms have cooled, add them to the mixture.
6. Put mixture into casserole dishes. This amount usually fills 3 medium casserole dishes. If you wish to freeze the stuffing for later, do so now before you cook it.
7. To cook, bake the stuffing at 350 degrees until it is crispy around the edges. This is usually between 2-3 hours if you have divided your stuffing into three dishes. If you have it in larger casseroles, cooking time will be longer.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and don’t sue me when you have a massive coronary.