“Make a sentence out of the following words: Face. Sodding. Your. Shut.”

Socially awkward though I may be I have (thus far, mostly, at least while sober) controlled my overwhelming desire to blurt out the first thought that springs to mind, no matter how offensive it is. So far I have caught myself in time to prevent the utterance of these gems:

1. “Wow, I used to be really obsessed with the ethnic conflict in your country!” (Points to anyone who can guess the country.)
2. (While discussing an article about repatriation of artefacts to indigenous groups.) “But that’s like Indian giving!”
3. More to follow as they come and I marvel over my glorious self-control.

Most of my social awkwardness has actually arisen out of not finding anything to say to people. I can’t make small-talk for long without disengaging. This is entirely my own fault, as I frankly just don’t care about what your dogs names are or which breakfast cereal you prefer. Then, once I’ve disengaged, it’s hard for me to pick up the part of the conversation where I’m supposed to be speaking because I have no idea what you’ve just said.I think the point of this entry is that I’m kind of an asshole. Sorry about that.